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The man who finds in his declining years that he seems to be no closer to the illuminative experience than he was a couple of decades earlier, that the Real apparently refuses to obey his call despite his practices and disciplines, may also find himself suffering emotionally from sadness, frustration, pessimism, or irritation. Such moods explain why, for instance, a man like Aldous Huxley turns first to a drug like mescaline and later to a cult like Subud.

-- Notebooks Category 12: Reflections > Chapter 6 : The Profane and The Profound > # 61